i was more than grateful to read The Imperfect Dominant’s Charter, written by _cleric_. It is difficult for a Dominant/Master to come down from His broad arm chair and sit on the floor, facing thousands of subs and say, you know what? I am actually just like you, I have flaws and I have my imperfections. Then sit back on His armchair and take the whip back into His hand, while all the subs secretly want to stand up from the floor without permission just to give Him a kiss on His hand.
It is very true that when most of us were first drawn to BDSM, we were exposed to pornography, blog journals, or highly romanticised content. The illusion is that one day a Powerful Dominant will come into your house, grab you by the neck and kidnap you away from your boring life, and you’ll live happily ever after.
The reality never is the same. We argue, negotiate, have doubts, get angry. There can be crises in the power dynamic, there most certainly will be challenges.
As a slaveboy myself, i came a long way to understand that Master is ultimately human, but i continue to treat Him god-like. i am not naive and it’s certainly not a blind-submission, but i think i treasure holding on to the notion of love more than anything else. In my Master and slave relationship, i want to perceive my Master as God and want to be able to trust someone in life to the extreme extent.
In the meanwhile, we keep our heads clear, and discuss and negotiate like adults when we need to. Sometimes, miscommunication or misunderstandings occur. When that happens I think, as a slave, after explaining my opinion there’s really nothing more that can be done other than trusting my Master to understand the situation. i want to provide pleasure and happiness, not sadness, arguments and troubles.
i see bowing to his power as being what Master and slave relationships are about. we take physical pain with consent, and i have also consented to emotional pain too.
So far, i have never been pushed to go beyond this. In my mind, a Master/Dominant can hold a relatively large degree of arbitrariness, as long as there is discussion and understanding.
Being a submissive means providing the foundation for the growth of the magic, especially when mistakes are made on the Dominant side or submissive side. It’s the soft cushion that absorbs the impacts, not glass that is easy to shatter.
i don’t see my Dominant as perfect or as God. Dominants are human after all. But after understanding they are human, i enjoy holding on to that ideal of perfection and i fully believe in it. Its a belief built upon understanding the flaws, uncertainties and shadows that will always exist in the world, and accepting them.