You’ll often hear people talking with derision about “no limits slaves”. How can they possibly exist? Everyone has limits.
Yet, i believe they can and do exist. We read so many love stories where one character is willing to die for the other. It exists in fiction because it is part of our human psyche. Because it is part of our collective consciousness, i think it is an ideal that some people try to make real. But, often the process of transitioning fiction into reality is the difficult part that burns us out and wear us down.
FROM THE VIEWPOINT OF THE SLAVE
The practicality of being a slave requires the reciprocity of the Dominant. Without a Dominant/Master, a slave is nothing more than a fantasy. It makes sense then that a “no limits slave” would require a “no limits Dominant”. Does such a Dominant exist? I’m sure He does, but it’s difficult to know what the term might mean.
What would “no limits slave” actually mean? It probably means something like “You can push as far as You want”. That kind of statement doesn’t really encompass any kind of terms and conditions, such as whether what is (or will be) happening is responsible and sane, or irresponsible and insane.
So, the “no limit” slave can exist, but the question really becomes not so much whether one’s lack of limits is infinite or not, it becomes “how?” and “why?”
FROM THE VIEWPOINT OF THE DOMINANT
If you are a responsible Dominant, You will want to know everything about your slave – what turns him on and what turn him off, what You want from the relationship and where the limits are drawn between You and Your slave.
So, a slave who tells you they have no limits isn’t really helping You to do Your job.
A common thing to hear in the BDSM community is that “a good Dom will protect their property”. So, a “no limits slave” is actually transferring responsibility for setting limits to the Dominant. This ties in with concepts of Total Power Exchange (TPE) and Consensual Non-Consent (CNC). In TPE and CNC, the limits of the slave might be a guide or suggestion to the Dominant, but they are not a directive.
We like to think that everyone involved in D/s or BDSM is safe, sane and consensual, but we all know that’s not true. There are Dominants who are irresponsible, and there are those who will use you however They want, and don’t care if you are injured in the process. There are Dominants who, according to law, would be criminals, and who are capable of harming their slave. And it’s not to say that there are not matching submissives who seek these kinds of Dominants and don’t mind being hurt or injured. Rules are often out of the window in the world of BDSM. It’s a dangerous, dark area of BDSM, but it exists.
If you’re starting out, exploring BDSM, then you may not know your limits yet, but to enter into negotiations as a “no limits slave” is like jumping into the dark ocean without actually knowing what the ocean is. Meet the wrong Dominants and you could drown.
That goes doubly if you are dealing with any mental health issues. If you are, your limits are helping you to predict and understand what is happening, stay level and cope with your experiences.
NO LIMITS IN M/S RELATIONSHIPS
If you have found a Dominant that you trust to be your Master, then within the relationship it’s common to agree to give all power of judgement for your limits to Him. It doesn’t mean that you have none, but in TPE/CNC once your limits are discussed and understood they are transferred to the Dominant’s discretion and they are no longer really yours. It’s an amazing journey, and i hope You find beauty in uncertainty, construction and reconstruction in your world of BDSM.
In CNC/TPE relationships, the focus for the submissive shifts. What you want and how you want it is no longer the focus. The core questions become: what does your Dominant want, and how does your Dominant want it?. you need to start asking your Master what He wants, and start working on things that please Him.
Positive, sane, responsible “no limits relationships” embrace and explore trust between the Master and the slave. Negative, insane, irresponsible “no limit relationships” are impulsive, and can be harmful or dangerous. i believe both types exist, and we have a choice to be what we want to be.
If you truly believe that you have no limits, you still get a choice about what kind of relationship you enter into.