The relationship between BDSM and mental health is complex, and can be confusing. Take, for example, depression. For those in the BDSM community who suffer from depression, is there any relationship? And if there is, was there an attraction to BDSM because of (diagnosed or undiagnosed) depression? Does the BDSM make it better or worse?

Depression is probably a reasonably straightforward example, but what about anxiety, self harm tendencies, OCD or other mental complications?

Years ago, BDSM was listed in the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) and over time that has been modified with clearer guidelines for determining to what extent, the practise of BDSM may be considered a Mental Disorder. If you are interested to find out more, there’s indepth information here and here. If those articles are too long for your attention, this quote will give you a brief idea:

The DSM-5 was released in May 2013, its contents marking a victory for the NCSF, Bannon, and Baldwin. The final language states: “A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention.”
– BDSM versus the DSM in The Atlantic

In other words, the 2013 version, DSM-5, has excluded Sadomasochism and other kinks as a disorder. This helps put a stop to institutionalised discrimination, but does not help us to understand the correlation between BDSM and other mental illness. Am i involved in BDSM practices because of my undiagnosed mental illness? Or am i just fine? Or is it my natural inclination toward Sadism or masochism, that has made me mentally ill?

Which all leads to one question… am i normal in this world?

PERSPECTIVE 1: I HAVE AN INCLINATION TOWARDS BDSM BECAUSE I AM MENTALLY ILL

This approach suggests an individual seeks comfort by involving himself in BDSM, as a coping mechanism to mental illness. Power Dynamics, for example, allow some individuals to cope with social anxiety better. Having a power dynamic of Domination and submission in social situations gives an anxious person a focus of attention, which eases anxiety. individuals focus into each other, hence taking away the anxiety of the everyday social encounter.

The negative side of employing such an approach to view mental illness is the very core question of identity. BDSM is identity performance, be it externally or internally, it defines who we are. It may be nature, it may be nurture, or it may be some combination of the two. Believing “i am involved in BDSM because of mental illness” puts you in a situation of relating your identity to mental health, rather than desire. Imagine a gay person questioning whether he is gay because of mental illness. This approach is roughly the same thing.

PERSPECTIVE 2: I AM INVOLVED IN BDSM, THEREFORE I AM MENTALLY ILL

This perspective begins with the individual seeing himself as a social deviant. Potential social isolation may have happened from a very young age, resulting in a state of agitative, insecure or anxious mental being. It is like your authentic self as a dark secret and wearing a vanilla mask and self that is comfortable for the public.

Some take it to another level where the individual is engaging in BDSM secretly, having a Master on the weekend and going back to normal life during the weekdays. It potentially confuses your mental wellbeing. Which one is the reality? Who are you?

If these situations go off the rails, there can be a sense of helpless in how to manage such split selves and identities and roles. The result can easily look like the symptoms of mental disorders. Extreme social isolation often leads to depression. Similar arguments have been put forward to explain how gay people have higher tendency towards mental illness and suicide.

However, blaming the world doesn’t help you to get better. If you are dealing with a mental health issue, despite the correlation to your identity as a Sadist or masochist, you are dealing with a mental health issue. This perspective includes a certain amount of external locus of control – “It’s not my problem, it is the world’s problem, i can’t change who i am, i am a Master/slave”. Blaming the world can easily spiral into negativity.

If you are dealing with mental illness and and are trying to work out the co-relationship between mental illness and BDSM, quite often it is intertwined and unfortunately there really are no binary causal effects.

Life changes according to time and experiences. We have different perception of reality at different stages of life. Maybe, you are kinky by nature, and because of the social discrimination, it affects your mental wellbeing, leading you to employ BDSM as a coping mechanism to your mental illness.

Or, you have started off using BDSM as a coping mechanism, and later grown into being kinky. The truth is, there is no fixed answer. Our motivations are often confusing and constantly in flux.

A better question is, are you happy?
And, what do you need to make yourself happier?