I have been involved in a semi-open polyamorous BDSM relationship with two rather mature men for a few years now. Our dynamic is a version of an oldguard leather household protocol, in which i am an owned slaveboy to a kind Master who are partnered with His pup. We live separately, and in the past…
Category: Mind
Is it Sadomasochism, Abuse or Self Harm?
One of the stigmas the BDSM community faces is the public confusion over where our lines of consent fall and at what point things are healthy versus unhealthy. To some extent, even as kinksters we have a hard time defining these things through our own eager urges for sadomasochistic acts. When we ourselves have difficulties…
Looking Deeper into Why BDSM May Benefit Our Mental Health
A significant piece of academic research, published in 2013 by Wismeijer and van Assen, suggests that individuals involved in BDSM subcultures or self-identified as “kinkster” may be prone to have better mental health than the average population. Psychologists and researchers from the Netherlands carried out a qualitative study with a total of 1300 questionaires sent…
Illustrated Guide – Neurochemicals
One of the great joys of the kink community is that everyone comes at things from a different angle. At a munch you might talk to someone who sees things in terms of energy and spirit, or someone who finds their joy in the sensate. One discussion you’re likely to come across is “the science…
Quiz – Check Your Narcissistic Personality Inventory
Narcissism in personality trait is generally conceived of as excessive self love. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a man who fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water. The NPI was developed by Raskin and Hall (1979) for the measurement of narcissism as a personality trait in social psychological research. It is…
Tough Tits – Nipple Play for Guys
by Anon The following is more a description of a personal repertoire than it is a comprehensive list of technique. I share it with you in the belief that you may find some of these tricks appropriate to your own style. While I wrote the tips on the assumption that one person does something with…
Illustrated Guide – Figging
Figging, also called Victorian Figging, is the process of carving a piece of ginger into a butt-plug. To get the most from it, run the ginger lightly over a grater after it is peeled, and you’ll find you can keep the intensity up by refreshing it with the grater every 10 minutes or so. Insertion…
BDSM Traffic Light Safewords – How Do They Work (and Not Work)?
Most of us are aware of the traffic light safewords system as a safety measurement/communication during a scene. Basically, a Dominant checks in by asking “how do you feel?”, and the submissive uses “green”, “orange”, “red” to indicate the subjective intensity the submissive is experiencing. Generally, “green” means everything is good, and please proceed in…
Shy and Introverted Masters – A Field Guide to Recognizing and Loving Them
When people think of a leader, the image that comes to mind is, more often than not, a dominant, assertive extrovert. In the West, extroversion has long been a coveted trait, and in workplaces you’ll find them being promoted more rapidly and getting better performance reviews. That’s exasperated by media and a huge personal growth…
Dominant Energy and the Small Drops That Are Life
The word “tired” is one of those clumsy English words (like “love”) that means a lot less without context. Is it “tired” like “haven’t had enough sleep”, “tired” like “just ran a marathon” or “tired” like “I’ve spent the day with a piled up inbox and the boss on my back”? Synonyms are a lot…