Impact Play that Unleashes the Dragon Within

Some of us have achieved peace with ourselves and our life. And, some of us still have esteem issues or other internal conflicts that bother us on a daily basis. Everyday, we push down whatever doubts and uncertainty we are dealing with, so that we can still function normally. Impact play can be cathartic, not…

YKINMKBYKIOK – Your Kink is Not My Kink, But Your Kink is OK

YKINMKBYKIOK is such a mouthful of an initialism that it’s commonly shortened to YKIOK (or sometimes YKINMK). It represents “your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK”. It isn’t a foreign concept outside of kink circles. You’ll have heard it as “horses for courses” “whatever floats your boat”’ “different strokes for different…

Are Kinks Getting More Extreme?

Some people who’ve been in the BDSM scene a long time observe an escalation in the extremity of the things we do. It can certainly look that way in online communities. Safe, Sane and Consensual has given way to Risk Aware Consensual Kink, and there has certainly been a rise in popularity of identifiers like…

Looking Deeper into Why BDSM May Benefit Our Mental Health

A significant piece of academic research, published in 2013 by Wismeijer and van Assen, suggests that individuals involved in BDSM subcultures or self-identified as “kinkster” may be prone to have better mental health than the average population. Psychologists and researchers from the Netherlands carried out a qualitative study with a total of 1300 questionaires sent…

Giving Your Partner Permission to be Dominant

There is a certain camp of people who will tell you that Dominance is an all-natural product (like organic milk), but I don’t believe that’s true. There might be certain underlying personality traits that make it easier or harder, but I think Dominance (as a role in D/s) is largely learned. There are some great…

Hurt Me Plenty – A Gameplay Review

If you are someone who practices SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), do you sometimes have a hard time explaining what consent means to you? Here’s a game that not only drills that, but is fun to play too. Robert Yang, both an Artist and indie game designer has created a VR game in simulation of…

Compersion in Polyamory

Compersion is a term used to describe a certain experience in polyamorous relationships. It is that moment of relational empathy, where the feelings of love and shared pleasure with one’s partner with another person over-rides any feelings of jealousy. Feelings are just feelings, and we should own up to them without labelling them as positive…

Can’t versus Won’t in Consensual Non-Consent (CNC)

The topic of Consensual Non-Consent never fails to get people banging heads with each other. Firstly, you have the “relationship” camp and the “session” camp firing arrows at each other. The term “CNC” is used by some to mean an interaction where the agreed boundaries are not negotiated, or are negotiated to be left entirely…