I’m a slave but not submissive

If you want to see sparks fly in an online forum, just mention how you are a slave, but not submissive. Not possible, you’ll hear from many. Do you submit to your Master? Of course you do, so you must be submissive. To talk about this I think we first have to separate out personality…

Venn Diagrams for the Mathematically Minded New Dom

The English language is sometimes a blunt instrument, and that makes “dominant” a tricky word. There is “dominant” in terms of personality traits, and there is “dominant” as a chosen relationship role. Often the same person is both, but it doesn’t have to be so. Let’s say, for the sake of this article, that the…

Is It True That Power Corrupts?

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord John Dalberg-Acton A question those of us in D/s relationships would be right to ask ourselves more often than others is: Does power corrupt? “Power corrupts” is a common enough saying, and usually it is pointing to behaviour that violates norms or values. In politics…

You’re a Dominant, Not a Therapist

I think it’s time we had a few words about mentor-type Doms, but I don’t want to be too harsh. They really are the nice-guys of our communities, and as the saying goes, “it’s the thought that counts”. You’ll know the ones I mean. They believe their role as Dominant is to guide their submissive…

D/s Contracts – How to Create One That Works

by Anton Fulmen Written contracts between dominant and submissive partners, often referred to as “slave contracts,” have a long history in the practice of dominance. Some of us find the formality, structure and the sense of commitment and authority of a written contract to be highly appealing. Some contracts are works of erotic fiction: props…

Submission Can Be Many Things

by Dark Vulcan To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object. Simone de Beauvoir Submission is a state of mind, not a status. It is a choice, and in BDSM play it is the gift the bottom brings to the scene. However the role-play…

Using Training to Keep BDSM Relationships Passionate

by Ayzad While physical practices allow fantasy to run wild, what really thrills BDSM connoisseurs is the opportunity to take advantage of the full-time regime to push the envelope of the most cerebral forms of domination. Few things can prove one’s ownership of a slave more than taking complete control over their life: when they…

Developing Rules for Your Relationship

If you’ve bounced in here from our previous article A Reverse Pyramid Look at Rules in BDSM Relationships, you might be thinking “well, he’s no fun” and it’s true, it wasn’t a particularly fun look at rule making. But, in that article I was talking about the newbie error of substituting rules for Dominance, and…

A Reverse Pyramid Look at Rules in BDSM Relationships

I think it’s common for Dominants/Masters who haven’t had a lot of experience with relationships to go into a new coupling issuing rules the way a parking inspector issues tickets. Way too many, way too quickly, and about all the wrong things. It’s understandable where this comes from. We quickly discover that Dominance/submission is a…

Shy and Introverted Masters – A Field Guide to Recognizing and Loving Them

When people think of a leader, the image that comes to mind is, more often than not, a dominant, assertive extrovert. In the West, extroversion has long been a coveted trait, and in workplaces you’ll find them being promoted more rapidly and getting better performance reviews. That’s exasperated by media and a huge personal growth…