From casual sex and swinging to open relationships to polyamory to D/s play… there are a lot of ways to do non-monogamy. And then there are the “don’t ask, don’t tells”, the 100 mile rule, cucks and hot-wives, and many other variants. Franklin Veaux created a map of non-monogamy in 2010 that pops up in…
Category: Polyamory
Being Old Guard Leather in a Modern World – The Constructivist Approach
We’re often prompted to label everything, even thinks that resist labeling. So, how do i categorise my own BDSM dynamic? Is it old guard or new guard? The way i see it is as a constructivist approach in practicing M/s dynamics. Does actual BDSM fantasy – like the one described by Gengoroh Tagame comics, or…
Compersion in Polyamory
Compersion is a term used to describe a certain experience in polyamorous relationships. It is that moment of relational empathy, where the feelings of love and shared pleasure with one’s partner with another person over-rides any feelings of jealousy. Feelings are just feelings, and we should own up to them without labelling them as positive…
A Peek Behind the Curtain: Polyamorous Relationships
Just a few days ago, I discover an insightful podcast discussing BDSM polyamorous relationships by No Safe Word — Ungagged Episode 13 – Flipbook Families i self identify as a kinkster, and if you’ve read other articles on this site you might have already gathered that i spend a lot of time thinking about human…
When Your Dom Can Sleep With Anyone He Pleases, But You Can’t
by Hermes Solenzol This practice seems to be quite common in the world of Dominance/submission (D/s). I have seen people who I respect a lot as Doms do it. And, given the enormous overlap between BDSM and polyamory / non-monogamy, it’s something that needs to be considered carefully from the ethical point of view. It…
7 Tips For Healthy Poly Relationships That Won’t Help You Get A Decent Hotel Room
Around this time last year, yangpup, boydenon and I pulled in to Hoi Ann in Vietnam. We’d been on an overnight train from Hanoi so we were a little crumpled, but ready for new adventures. The leather tailors in Hoi Ann are fantastic by the way, should you ever get there. It was our first…
Keeping the Passion in BDSM Relationships
What we do in BDSM is linked to desire. We can call it servitude, or dominance, or sadism or masochism, or sceneing or sessions, or any of the other many words we use, but ultimately it never fails to come down to desire. We do it because it fulfils this deep need in us, and…
Considering a Poly Relationship? Ask Yourself These Questions First
We’ve extracted this self-evaluation exercise from the book Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino. It’s a fantastic book, available on Amazon, and a must-read if you’re considering non-monogamy (in any of its many forms). Scroll to the end of the questions for a lot more information about the…
Survival Tips for Polyamorous D/s Relationships
From childhood, we learn that a normal family consists of one male and one female. With the recent welcome wave of gay marriage rights across the globe, hopefully the next generation will not see that gender mix norm. The couple fall in love and share a life, perhaps with a child or two. Often the…
Overcoming Limits of D/s in Long Distance Relationships
The languid Dom in a silky robe leans back in his comfortable chair, takes a sip from him coffee and draws on his cigarette. His naked and collared sub moves forward from his kneeling position to take the cup, then backs away and hurries to the kitchen to refresh it. What we have in that…