Anticipation, Anxiety and the Butterflies

We all experiences anxiety, stress and the butterflies start fluttering in our stomach at different times in our life. Because what we do is transgressive and sometimes edgy, there’s a chance that it does happen more frequently or with higher intensity in our BDSM exploration. It might be when we hook up with people we…

It’s All Smoke and Mirrors

In my checkered career I’ve studied business, design and journalism, worked in PR, been a graphic designer and a magazine editor, and I now run my second design and advertising company. I’m what they call in Singapore, where I live, a “creative”. I’ve only recently started using that as a noun… I always thought it…

Hey You, Get Off Of My Slide

I’ve been thinking lately about the idea of choices as a kind of pyramid that you move around. It’s a bit nascent, but I’ll try my best to explain. I MIGHT NOT HAVE RIPPLING ABS, BUT CHECK OUT MY DECISIONS We’ve all heard of the slippery slope, but how many of us consider the perils…

Blessed Are the Outlaws, the Rebels and the Kinksters

There must be a reason why people like to do something different once in awhile. We like to go for travel after a year of stressful work, and it feels refreshing. Each time we go for a trip, it feels like our mind and body regain some sense of clarity. For some of us who…

White Light, Black Leather – Balancing the Light and Dark in BDSM

Societal rules are complex and we begin learning them at a very young age. Your family might not have told you that masturbation would make you grow up weak and sickly (or that you’d grow hair on your palms), but you’ll have learnt all kinds of other mistruths from society. Perhaps you heard: • asking…

How Ritual in BDSM Brings Us Closer To Our Authentic Self

Every morning when I wake up, there is a breakfast tray on my balcony with food and coffee. In the evening when I go to bed, my boy/s are kneeling beside it. We often talk about rules, rituals and protocols, and I wanted to talk a little about why, of the three, I find rituals…

Brats, SAMs and Break-mes

Brats are possibly something of a misunderstood species. They get a bad rap by many in the community who immediately associate the role with “petulant child”. But is that really what a brat is? We’d call a child a brat if they’re misbehaving, but most submissives who identify as brats see it as a role…

Correctional Training: Is Your Slave a Piece of Dirt?

by Morgan There are many ways to “train” a slave—to enjoy man-to-man power and sexual relationships. The most publicised and most visible modus operandi is that of the all-powerful and all-knowing Master who is able to direct, dominate and control the entire world occupied by the slave, who in turn fantasises himself a piece of…

BDSM and the Pursuit of Happiness

Even though a recent Guardian article, Never tried BDSM? Go on, it’s good for you, points to studies that suggest that those of us expressing ourselves sexually may be happier than the average, there are a lot of people who are “under happy”. I’m using the term “under happy”, rather than “unhappy”, because I think…

Leather Behaviour

By George Whiting “The term ‘Leather’ embraces a whole lot of fetishes, fantasies and lifestyles; leather, rubber, boots, uniforms, BDSM etc. As we talk about leather, we remember that it is an inclusive term and that, in its diversity, there is a common thread. Simply explained, that common factor lies in the realization of personal…