Advice for Rope (and other play)

There is some very useful advice here for Tops and bottoms by Topologist from Crash Restraint. It’s rope-oriented, but much of the advice is applicable for all sorts of play. I’d encourage you to read all the sections, regardless of identification. TOPS When looking for new partners: DON’T touch anyone without their clearly expressed verbal…

Illustrated Guide – Types of Spankings

In an interview between Jessica Gross and Jillian Keenan, published on Longreads as An Exegesis on Spanking Fetishists, Jillian recounts a story from her book: I mention that a friend of mine was dating a guy from the BDSM scene—not the spanking scene, just the BDSM scene. She once complained, “I need a real spanko…

Is it Sadomasochism, Abuse or Self Harm?

One of the stigmas the BDSM community faces is the public confusion over where our lines of consent fall and at what point things are healthy versus unhealthy. To some extent, even as kinksters we have a hard time defining these things through our own eager urges for sadomasochistic acts. When we ourselves have difficulties…

Are Kinks Getting More Extreme?

Some people who’ve been in the BDSM scene a long time observe an escalation in the extremity of the things we do. It can certainly look that way in online communities. Safe, Sane and Consensual has given way to Risk Aware Consensual Kink, and there has certainly been a rise in popularity of identifiers like…

Looking Deeper into Why BDSM May Benefit Our Mental Health

A significant piece of academic research, published in 2013 by Wismeijer and van Assen, suggests that individuals involved in BDSM subcultures or self-identified as “kinkster” may be prone to have better mental health than the average population. Psychologists and researchers from the Netherlands carried out a qualitative study with a total of 1300 questionaires sent…

Illustrated Guide – Enemas: How To Clean Your Ass!

This illustration was created by BlindJaw, and you can download it as a PDF here. We have a saying around our house… “shit happens”. But, some people are squicky about mess, especially scatalogical mess, and that’s totally understandable. An enema is basically the injection of liquid into the anus (and hopefully quite deep into the…

Giving Your Partner Permission to be Dominant

There is a certain camp of people who will tell you that Dominance is an all-natural product (like organic milk), but I don’t believe that’s true. There might be certain underlying personality traits that make it easier or harder, but I think Dominance (as a role in D/s) is largely learned. There are some great…

Hurt Me Plenty – A Gameplay Review

If you are someone who practices SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual), do you sometimes have a hard time explaining what consent means to you? Here’s a game that not only drills that, but is fun to play too. Robert Yang, both an Artist and indie game designer has created a VR game in simulation of…

Compersion in Polyamory

Compersion is a term used to describe a certain experience in polyamorous relationships. It is that moment of relational empathy, where the feelings of love and shared pleasure with one’s partner with another person over-rides any feelings of jealousy. Feelings are just feelings, and we should own up to them without labelling them as positive…