Quiz – Discover Your Sex Language

Tantra Lover, Chameleon, Bunny, Explorer, Adventurer or Romantic? This 17 question kink-friendly quiz will sort you into one of six categories based on your sex language. The brief results at the end probably won’t see you suddenly having incredible sex, but the questions are thought-provoking and fun. If your partner takes the test too then,…

Create a Visual Fetish Checklist with Kinkomatic

In the getting-to-know you stages, a fetish checklist can be a great tool to communicate with a partner. It can also spark some interesting (and perhaps productive) conversation even if a relationship is not new. Kinkomatic is an online tool that leaves you with a nice visual representation of your ratings and a unique URL…

Gods and Monster (Dicks)

I was in Berlin for Folsom Europe a couple of weeks ago, and one of the side events was an exhibition of artwork by contemporary artists inspired by Tom of Finland (along with several pieces of ToF work). Folsom Europe is, in itself, a living, breathing performance of Tom of Finland influences. Stand on any…

The Empowerment of a Leather Event

It has been about a week since i returned from Berlin, reignited from attending Folsom Europe. Day-to-day in my life (in Malaysia) i have an intricate set of inner coping mechanisms which help me navigate the oppressive regime and social attitudes in my country. my soul and consciousness has been imprisoned by Malaysia’s indoctrination, but…

How to Build Up a Scene

There are as many different ways to do kink as there are people, but I want to discuss one particular type that is common enough to come up in discussion quite a lot — “a scene”. Specifically, a scene that you might do at home (which often has different characteristics to one in a public…

Fun, and the Importance of Human Connection

I’ve been having a little kink social media fatigue lately (and by that, I mean Fetlife). Nothing that a block of dark chocolate and some sunshine won’t cure. What has been making me tired is the stress emanating from a lot of people new to kink, and the stress I feel reflected back to them…

This Week in Kink – An Invitation

As an ex-journalist, I’ve had a lot of fun putting together the This Week in Kink (TWINK) posts. The kink community is far from invisible these days. It seems you can’t open a magazine, newspaper or social media app without some news. Some of it fun, some of it educational, some of it downright disturbing……

Bondage, Hogties and Positional Asphyxia

by Jay Wiseman © 2018 Breathing takes work. More specifically, breathing takes muscular effort. In a healthy person inhalation takes muscular effort and exhalation is passive. Positional asphyxia occurs when a person’s body is put into a position where the amount of work they have to do to breathe adequately is greater than the amount…

Illustrated Guide – Pride Flags

It’s Pride Month in the US. A little known fact… the Rainbow Pride Flag designed by Gilbert Baker debuted in 1978 with 8 colours and each colour had a meaning. The most popular version now has 6 colours (as shown in the header image here). Wikipedia has a good summary of the history. Our understanding…

Littles and Ageplay – Same, Same but Different

I know a lady who travelled with her partner last year to China because she really, really, really loves pandas. Panda hats, panda stuffies and I’m fairly sure panda colouring books and picture puzzles. Get her on to the topic and her eyes light up and you can see the 10 year old girl shining…