First off, a big fat disclaimer. We are not mental health professionals. boydenon and I started this site because we have dealt with some of the things discussed here in our own lives, but we do not claim to be experts.
We hope you’ll be critical of the writing on this site and every piece of writing that you read anywhere. Take what is useful to you and reject what is not. Please leave comments if something resonates with you, or you think something sucks.
BDSM and mental health are both highly personal and highly variable. What they mean to you, and how you experience them, will be entirely unique to you. If you’re struggling, and if the struggle is starting to feel critical, unhealthy, or like it is invading other parts of your life, then we strongly encourage you to seek out a kink aware professional to talk to. Other people can try to be supportive, but the only person who can really give you any good advice is someone who knows your personal story. We know it’s easier to find kink aware professionals in some cities than others, and where we live (Malaysia and Singapore) it’s pretty much impossible. But, at the very least, reach out to your community, either through munches and community groups in your city, or online on sites like Fetlife. It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world dealing with something, but there’s a really good chance that you’re not.
We are generally play-positive. We believe that BDSM, when done right, can be a positive, fun, healthy experience in pretty much any circumstance. Of course it’s not always done right, and that’s really one of the main focuses of this site — exploring how we can be aware of how our mental states may be affecting our actions and our responses, and looking at the potential pleasures and pitfalls.
We hope there’s something here that gives you an “aha” moment, or gives you something of value. Please feel free to leave comments or get in touch with us. If you’d like to get latest posts in your email box (no spam, we promise), we hope you’ll sign up for our feed here.