About This Site

First off, a big fat disclaimer. We are not mental health professionals. boydenon and I started this site because we have dealt with some of the things discussed here in our own lives, but we do not claim to be experts.

We hope you’ll be critical of the writing on this site and every piece of writing that you read anywhere. Take what is useful to you and reject what is not. Please leave comments if something resonates with you, or you think something sucks.

BDSM and mental health are both highly personal and highly variable. What they mean to you, and how you experience them, will be entirely unique to you. If you’re struggling, and if the struggle is starting to feel critical, unhealthy, or like it is invading other parts of your life, then we strongly encourage you to seek out a kink aware professional to talk to. Other people can try to be supportive, but the only person who can really give you any good advice is someone who knows your personal story. We know it’s easier to find kink aware professionals in some cities than others, and where we live (Malaysia and Singapore) it’s pretty much impossible. But, at the very least, reach out to your community, either through munches and community groups in your city, or online on sites like Fetlife. It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world dealing with something, but there’s a really good chance that you’re not.

We are generally play-positive. We believe that BDSM, when done right, can be a positive, fun, healthy experience in pretty much any circumstance. Of course it’s not always done right, and that’s really one of the main focuses of this site — exploring how we can be aware of how our mental states may be affecting our actions and our responses, and looking at the potential pleasures and pitfalls.

We hope there’s something here that gives you an “aha” moment, or gives you something of value. Please feel free to leave comments or get in touch with us. If you’d like to get latest posts in your email box (no spam, we promise), we hope you’ll sign up for our feed here.

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Just Curious says:

    Interesting site, seems like a lot of content to be explored. Am just starting out on a journey on my own.

    1. MasterMarc says:

      Thanks Just Curious. Hope you find something here that gels with your journey!

  2. A. says:

    Excellent! Advice and suggestions in the articles are really dead on. Finally someone’s addressing mental health issues and bdsm.

    I’ve been struggling with how to approach my bdsm interests in a healthy, non-traumatizing way. Have DID, have done a ton of therapy, and am functioning well. Also interested Daddy/daughter play and I am a incest survivor. Not in denial that D/d is playing with incest material. Turns me on and gets me off. I don’t have another 30 years to try to re-wire my sexuality, so I’m going with this. Any comments, advice, etc would be appreciated.

    Thanks for devising this site. Much needed.

    1. boydenon says:

      Hi A.

      I am truly glad that any of the a titles help you in anyway.


  3. slipmo says:

    i also had to come to terms with this. i am a total dom, Master, i have a wonderful slave 24/7 for at least 12 = years now BuT i have this thing about guys, taking me, big, fat, long cocks. in my late teens early 20’s i was taken and forced four different times by guys, long and wild stories, i must say if one guy was a bit cooler who knows. after all these years, far and few between, but when this happens i go wild, i get overly hott’n’horny for guys with huge, long fat cocks to without me realizing it just somehow after meeting as strangers, seem to become friendly, we have drinks, you realize no matter what i will be yours and you and i end up in an apt where we have more drinks and…… where your coming on to me and i do not understand but you are being mellow (which must be) but take control slowly and bang….

    1. boydenon says:

      Hi Slipmo,

      I face some level of difficulties replying to this comment, but I guess it’s part of my job to reply to your comment. Since its commented at our site. There are a lot resources that you have access within these site, from mental illness to safety protocol, culture to philosophical discourses around BDSM, some fun articles that we archived from drummer magazines along with many guess authors who have contributed to the site. And I hope some of the articles may be handy and useful for you.


  4. Sam says:

    Hi thanks for a great site. Ive been searching online for support groups or retreats, or just guidance for men interested in spirituality and chastity, and found nothing! Do you know of anything like that near London? thanks x

    1. MasterMarc says:

      Hi Sam

      Thanks for reading! We’re not in the London area, but I suspect it’s an excellent place to find what you’re looking for. Lee Harrington’s

      are always worth keeping an eye on, though he might only be doing them in the US at the moment. He’s easy to search out on Facebook though, and he posts smart and interesting stuff that you might like in your feed.
      Probably your best source of information is going to be the local UK groups in Fetlife, or perhaps you could ask around in one of the more general groups, like

      Hope it goes well for you and you find what you’re looking for!

  5. Aliasid says:

    OMG, I want the man who wrote this article to fist me!!! I have never had it done before but after reading what he wrote I totally want it. If your ever in the Shenandoah Valley area in va write me!! 🙂

  6. Karol says:

    Fantastic site !!! Lots of knowledge and experience. I`m from Poland. Lifstyle in our country is at a very poor level. Most of people think, that BDSM is only violance and opportunity to free, spicy sex. If You will let me, I would like to link this site on my facebook group and translate some of your articles to polish. Thanks in advance. Great job :-).

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