Book Review: BDSM – A Guide for Explorers of Extreme Eroticism

A famous bon mot of “America’s sexologist” Ruth Westheimer goes: “The most important sex organ lies between your ears.” This is also where BDSM originates: from the realization that the apex of eroticism doesn’t consist in blindly following your primal instincts of domination and submission, nor in the technical skills involved in handling whips, ropes…

Book Review: Rogue Hojojutsu

One might expect that the “rogue” in Rogue Hojojutsu refers to the criminals. Those who found themselves in Hojojutsu bindings were certainly rogues. But those who practiced Hojojutsu were often far worse than criminals. Those who practiced Hojojutsu weren’t highly respected samurai. Hojojutsu was practiced on rogues… by rogues. The Hojojutsu truths aren’t as simple…

How Japanese Rope Bondage Culture Developed Outside of Western BDSM

Santa left a Taiwanese rope bondage book by 小林绳雾 under the Christmas tree for Master. Amongst the step-by-step illustrations, the author spends some time to understand the subtle difference between Western BDSM culture and Asia’s SM Culture. The book is in Chinese, but it’s a very interesting look at that topic, so I thought it…

Keeping the Passion in BDSM Relationships

What we do in BDSM is linked to desire. We can call it servitude, or dominance, or sadism or masochism, or sceneing or sessions, or any of the other many words we use, but ultimately it never fails to come down to desire. We do it because it fulfils this deep need in us, and…

Considering a Poly Relationship? Ask Yourself These Questions First

We’ve extracted this self-evaluation exercise from the book Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino. It’s a fantastic book, available on Amazon, and a must-read if you’re considering non-monogamy (in any of its many forms). Scroll to the end of the questions for a lot more information about the…

The Work of Ownership: When Fantasy Meets Reality

Come here. Kneel down. Do as you’re told. Three simple commands. At first glance, they seem almost too simple, too easy, and too basic to have any meaning. Where is the strict command? Where is the humiliation? Where is the slapping around, smashing his face into the carpet, and verbally abusing the piss out of…