When the Fantasy Gets Real

Fantasy feels good. It’s malleable, predictable, controllable and mouldable. It’s shaped perfectly to fit into all our crevices and to stroke all our sensitive spots. Reality, on the other hand, is often uncomfortable, unpredictable and uncontrollable. WHERE IS THAT GREY LINE BETWEEN FANTASY AND REALITY IN BDSM? It’s probably worth asking, before going any further,…

How Real is a BDSM Lifestyle? As Real as You Want it to Be

by Joseph D. All sex is a power play. We like to deny it. We like to pretend that sex is birds and bunnies and bubbling brooks, that sex can’t be evil, nasty power dynamics, but that’s what makes it hot for people, whether they cop to it or not. Even the most vanilla sexual…

Can Role-Play Add to the Pleasure That Pain Brings?

What’s in your sadomasochist (S/m) repertoire? If you think of role-play as “I’m the stern headmaster and you’re the naughty student” then some people enjoy that kind of play and some people don’t find much in it. In this context we’re talking about role-play as making up fictional characters or putting ourselves as real characters…