Illustrated Guide – 3D Model of Erotic (Kink) Space Pt3

This is the third part of a three-part post exploring a model of how BDSM roles and relationships interact. Part 1 looked at how our desires related to D/s (control) and SM (experiences) interact to form our kink identity. Part 2 explored how roles interact and why some pairings work well. This part looks at…

Illustrated Guide – 3D Model of Erotic (Kink) Space Pt2

This is the second part of a three-part post exploring a model of how BDSM roles and relationships interact. Part 1 looked at how our desires related to D/s (control) and SM (experiences) interact to form our kink identity. This part adds a 3rd dimension and looks at which roles play nicely together. You can…

Illustrated Guide – 3D Model of Erotic (Kink) Space Pt1

This is the first part of a fairly long post, but I promise if you stick with it that it’s very rewarding and you’ll find an interesting model of how BDSM roles and relationships interact. To help with loading time, we’ve divided it into three separate posts. You can find the others here:• Pt 2…

Illustrated Guide – Pride Flags

It’s Pride Month in the US. A little known fact… the Rainbow Pride Flag designed by Gilbert Baker debuted in 1978 with 8 colours and each colour had a meaning. The most popular version now has 6 colours (as shown in the header image here). Wikipedia has a good summary of the history. Our understanding…

Illustrated Guide – Measuring for a Chastity Cage

This illustration is by Pup Capri, who keeps a great chastity blog on Tumblr. Getting the right fit for your chastity cage will make or break the experience. A common mistake is to buy a chastity cage that is too large. Probably the most crucial point for comfort is the base ring, and I would…

Illustrated Guide – Non-Monogamy

From casual sex and swinging to open relationships to polyamory to D/s play… there are a lot of ways to do non-monogamy. And then there are the “don’t ask, don’t tells”, the 100 mile rule, cucks and hot-wives, and many other variants. Franklin Veaux created a map of non-monogamy in 2010 that pops up in…

Illustrated Guide – Hanky Codes (2)

This gorgeous poster of the Gay Leatherman’s Hanky Codes was months of research and work by Ben Bear, and he has released it as a free high-res download in two formats (a 2′ x 3′ poster or as 5 tabloid sized panels) on his Ace of Spades PDX website. This month’s poster coincides with Oregon…

Illustrated Guide – Types of Spankings

In an interview between Jessica Gross and Jillian Keenan, published on Longreads as An Exegesis on Spanking Fetishists, Jillian recounts a story from her book: I mention that a friend of mine was dating a guy from the BDSM scene—not the spanking scene, just the BDSM scene. She once complained, “I need a real spanko…

Illustrated Guide – Enemas: How To Clean Your Ass!

This illustration was created by BlindJaw, and you can download it as a PDF here. We have a saying around our house… “shit happens”. But, some people are squicky about mess, especially scatalogical mess, and that’s totally understandable. An enema is basically the injection of liquid into the anus (and hopefully quite deep into the…

Illustrated Guide – Rimming

Rimming (or if you want to prim and proper about it, analingus) is divisive. It tends to be either a big turn-on or a big turn-off, though some are in the “meh” camp. The illustration tells you pretty much everything you need to know about eating ass, but it doesn’t touch on safety, so a…