Why Control is Not Always What It Seems

You’ll have heard a “the submissive is in control” line before. They usually go something like this: It is the Sub that sets the majority of any hard limits. The Sub that has the stop/go control of safe words. The sub that has more control over giving or withdrawing of consent. Let’s assume, just for…

Pushing Boundaries Without Breaking Limits

I’ve taken a little snip from a thread on Fetlife that encapsulates a common viewpoint of Domination that I think contains both myth and jargon: … its important to realize that we also have to push boundaries to help a sub grow. Otherwise you stay in your little box and never get outside it. That…

Pleasure Spankings and Erotic Pain

by Author Unknown Erotic pain is something that is very difficult to explain unless there is something inside of you that draws you toward it. Many subs crave it, it settles them down. I’m sure you know many endorphins are released in the body when it is “stressed” during a spanking or more intense activities…

I Wanna Push Your Limits

Should I put my red flag away now? You will hear “I wanna push your limits” from some Dom at some stage, so I think it’s worthwhile talking about what that really means. LET’S TALK ABOUT CONSENT Consent flows both ways and both parties have to retain both responsibility and consent. A bottom can’t say…

What is Edge Play?

by MutualRespect Defining edge play is a tricky business. Not because the definition is slippery, but because you need to also address the prejudices of those who do not understand it. The public’s natural opinion of edge play is that it is dangerous and abusive. Everything we do in kink carries a certain level of…