There is some very useful advice here for Tops and bottoms by Topologist from Crash Restraint. It’s rope-oriented, but much of the advice is applicable for all sorts of play. I’d encourage you to read all the sections, regardless of identification. TOPS When looking for new partners: DON’T touch anyone without their clearly expressed verbal…
Tag: negotiation
Are All Sadists Safe, Sane and Consensual?
The short answer to whether all Sadists are safe, sane and consensual is… no. A Sadist enjoys inflicting physical or emotional pain or discomfort. His partner being a masochist may affect his pleasure, or it may not. There is actually a wide spectrum of Sadists, from those who are skilled pain inflictors but can take…
Online BDSM Relationships Need A Safety Net
Online sexting is a thing. We all have smartphones, laptops and gadgets that allow us to venture out into the cyber meat-market. In Malaysia and Singapore (and possibly your country too) it’s difficult to find (kink) social networks outside of the internet. Especially when the universal adage YKINMY (your kink is not my kink) is…
Different Types of Masochism – One Size Does Not Fit All
There are many different types and levels of masochism, and so often you’ll hear a conversation in the BDSM community where the two people are struggling to communicate because they are using the word in two different ways. As a term, diverse people with diverse intentions fall into the grouping. If you do a quick…
What is Internal Enslavement?
Two terms that nearly always cause confusion in conversation are “mental BDSM” and “internal enslavement”. They sound like they might be similar concepts, but “mental BDSM” usually refers to psychological (rather than physical) control, while “internal enslavement” refers to what you’d imagine the dictionary definition of “slave” is. WHAT IS INTERNAL ENSLAVEMENT? Internal Enslavement is…
An Online Dominant’s Illustrative Primer
I hope that this article will prove helpful to (possibly young and inexperienced) Dominants taking their first steps into exploring online domination. I will attempt to offer some guidance on basic chat etiquette and how, once you find some kind of online community, to talk to submissives, set up and interact with play scenes, and…
BDSM Impact Play Safe Zones
Show me a BDSM toybox without some kind of impact toy and I’ll show you a Dom that is probably thinking of doing some online shopping. But, I’ve seen some pictures on Tumblr recently that I hope are faked, because the bodies are marked up in areas they really shouldn’t be marked up in. I…
Dominants – Worshipping the Feet of Clay
i was more than grateful to read The Imperfect Dominant’s Charter, written by _cleric_. It is difficult for a Dominant/Master to come down from His broad arm chair and sit on the floor, facing thousands of subs and say, you know what? I am actually just like you, I have flaws and I have my…