There are a lot of BDSM sub-communities that use the Domly Dom Dom as their archetype. Internal Enslavement, the B.E.S.T Training group, and many Master and Slave groups on FetLife, are examples. The Dom is a controller, an authority figure and a leather-clad alpha.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Those Doms certainly exist in abundance.

But then we have the Sensual Dom – who doesn’t entirely fit that BDSM model.

You can often spot the Sensual Dom when you first meet him by the fact that he can be a bit vague. Questions like “what are you into?” don’t have clear cut and dried answers, because Sensual Doms are into pleasure.

Of course they’ll have some kinks and hard limits. Everyone does. But they often don’t want to reveal them straight away. Firstly because they’re listening to you, and they don’t want what they say to lead the conversation, and secondly, because surprise and anticipation is their stock-in-trade.

That might be unexpectedly (and perhaps frustratingly) vague for a sub who is expecting to speak with a Domly Dom, but similar to the Responsive Top or the Service Top, the Sensual Dom is all about controlling the situation to the pleasure and needs of both, and they see seduction as not just a tool, but a driving personal kink.

Sensual Domination tends to be much less about physical restraint and more about mental captivation. Sensual Doms are out to ensnare your body, mind and spirit, and their attention is magnetic. They use trust and pleasurable surprise in measured portions to nourish the need and drive the want of the sub.

They want to know all about you, and they’ll take that knowledge a step further and to a heightened level to arouse you. They’ll develop a studied knowledge of you that will probably surprise you in both depth and scope… and may occasionally scare you a bit. They can and do go to great lengths to arrange encounters that give you just the right sensations, and they share in your pleasure.

So yes, a Sensual Dom is going to be vague when you meet them, because a LOT of the kink is about the romantic surprise. Springing things on you that send an instant pleasure tingle up your spine and give you a bright wicked grin of anticipation.

The relentless tease that serves to keep you close is Sensual Domination’s basic stock in trade, and the most powerful tease is one that is vague, but so intriguing that it’s an irresistible draw.

FURTHER READING

• DominantSoul – A Recipe for a Mind-Blowing Sensual Domination Session
• For The Love of Dominance – What is Sensual Domination?
• FetLife – Sensual Domination