What Makes Being a Cuck Hot For Me?

I have been involved in a semi-open polyamorous BDSM relationship with two rather mature men for a few years now. Our dynamic is a version of an oldguard leather household protocol, in which i am an owned slaveboy to a kind Master who are partnered with His pup. We live separately, and in the past…

Impact Play that Unleashes the Dragon Within

Some of us have achieved peace with ourselves and our life. And, some of us still have esteem issues or other internal conflicts that bother us on a daily basis. Everyday, we push down whatever doubts and uncertainty we are dealing with, so that we can still function normally. Impact play can be cathartic, not…

YKINMKBYKIOK – Your Kink is Not My Kink, But Your Kink is OK

YKINMKBYKIOK is such a mouthful of an initialism that it’s commonly shortened to YKIOK (or sometimes YKINMK). It represents “your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK”. It isn’t a foreign concept outside of kink circles. You’ll have heard it as “horses for courses”, “whatever floats your boat”, “different strokes for different…

Advice for Rope (and other play)

There is some very useful advice here for Tops and bottoms by Topologist from Crash Restraint. It’s rope-oriented, but much of the advice is applicable for all sorts of play. I’d encourage you to read all the sections, regardless of identification. TOPS When looking for new partners: DON’T touch anyone without their clearly expressed verbal…

Illustrated Guide – Types of Spankings

In an interview between Jessica Gross and Jillian Keenan, published on Longreads as An Exegesis on Spanking Fetishists, Jillian recounts a story from her book: I mention that a friend of mine was dating a guy from the BDSM scene—not the spanking scene, just the BDSM scene. She once complained, “I need a real spanko…

Is it Sadomasochism, Abuse or Self Harm?

One of the stigmas the BDSM community faces is the public confusion over where our lines of consent fall and at what point things are healthy versus unhealthy. To some extent, even as kinksters we have a hard time defining these things through our own eager urges for sadomasochistic acts. When we ourselves have difficulties…

Are Kinks Getting More Extreme?

Some people who’ve been in the BDSM scene a long time observe an escalation in the extremity of the things we do. It can certainly look that way in online communities. Safe, Sane and Consensual has given way to Risk Aware Consensual Kink, and there has certainly been a rise in popularity of identifiers like…

Looking Deeper into Why BDSM May Benefit Our Mental Health

A significant piece of academic research, published in 2013 by Wismeijer and van Assen, suggests that individuals involved in BDSM subcultures or self-identified as “kinkster” may be prone to have better mental health than the average population. Psychologists and researchers from the Netherlands carried out a qualitative study with a total of 1300 questionaires sent…