Cruising for a Bruising – The Savage World of BDSM Dating Apps

I’ve recently dangled my feet (again) in murky waters of the gay kink dating app Recon. With a leatherpup and a slaveboy of my own, my dance-card is full, so I’m not there cruising for action. It’s more like ethnographic research. If my regular hangouts on FetLife are like kink university halls, Recon is more…

Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol: Cruising with Class (3/6)

by Ambrosio Part 1: General Principles Part 2: More Specific Guidelines Part 4: Play Parties Part 5: Flagging, Symbols and Rituals Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol & In Closing EXPECTATIONS OF SEX BDSM is not always about sex. BDSM is not synonymous with swinging, swapping, or Polyamory — although it’s possible for…

Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol: More Specific Guidelines (2/6)

by Ambrosio Part 1: General Principles Part 3: Cruising with Class Part 4: Play Parties Part 5: Flagging, Symbols and Rituals Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol & In Closing SOCIALIZING & NETWORKING Socializing takes place at munches, general meetings, runs, and parties. Munches are semi-public gatherings of BDSM enthusiasts for the purpose…

Illustrated Guide – Hanky Codes (2)

This gorgeous poster of the Gay Leatherman’s Hanky Codes was months of research and work by Ben Bear, and he has released it as a free high-res download in two formats (a 2′ x 3′ poster or as 5 tabloid sized panels) on his Ace of Spades PDX website. This month’s poster coincides with Oregon…

Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol: General Principles (1/6)

by Ambrosio This is the first part of a 6 part series originally published as Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol on Ambrosio’s BDSM Site. See the end of this article for more details. Part 2: More Specific Guidelines Part 3: Cruising with Class Part 4: Play Parties Part 5: Flagging,…

What Makes Being a Cuck Hot For Me?

I have been involved in a semi-open polyamorous BDSM relationship with two rather mature men for a few years now. Our dynamic is a version of an oldguard leather household protocol, in which i am an owned slaveboy to a kind Master who are partnered with His pup. We live separately, and in the past…

Impact Play that Unleashes the Dragon Within

Some of us have achieved peace with ourselves and our life. And, some of us still have esteem issues or other internal conflicts that bother us on a daily basis. Everyday, we push down whatever doubts and uncertainty we are dealing with, so that we can still function normally. Impact play can be cathartic, not…

YKINMKBYKIOK – Your Kink is Not My Kink, But Your Kink is OK

YKINMKBYKIOK is such a mouthful of an initialism that it’s commonly shortened to YKIOK (or sometimes YKINMK). It represents “your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK”. It isn’t a foreign concept outside of kink circles. You’ll have heard it as “horses for courses”, “whatever floats your boat”, “different strokes for different…