Moving Beyond Maslow’s View of D/s and M/s Relationships

Most religions and moral systems see one of the great human problems as selfishness. A common and unifying philosophy is that personal development is a transcendence from the self to a larger purpose. Around the middle of last century, Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers and others aimed to liberate and enlarge the self. This was the…

This Week in Kink, November 25, 2017

Here’s something you may never have stopped to wonder. Why is it that so many gay leather bars have the word Eagle in their name? Mikelle Street at NBC News explains that after the 1969 Stonewall Riots, an old longshoreman’s pub was given a coat of black paint to become The Eagle’s Nest, and began…

This Week in Kink, November 18, 2017

Somebody needs to explain to me what’s going on the US, because every time I read something I get more confused. In New York a health teacher has been suspended from her job because she invited a guest lecturer to teach her class about LGBT issues. Parents complained to the school about a pack given…

This Week in Kink, November 11, 2017

Twitter tightened its media policy guidelines last week to toughen up on revenge porn and hate speech, and Buzzfeed caused a bit of a panic by misinterpreting the guidelines as a “sweeping ban on porn”. Advertising has always had fairly strict guidelines on Twitter (because no-one wants their mother to be getting dildo ads in…

Special Snowflake Syndrome

We’re all a bunch of bad-ass mofos, no doubt, but there’s this regrettable thing that happens to some people when they discover BDSM that I thought might be helpful to talk about. When I say “regrettable”, I mean that if it happens to someone in your orbit, then one morning they’re probably going to wake…

This Week in Kink, October 28, 2017

A common safety measure in the kink community is to “silo” your social media. You don’t use the same photo on Fetlife that you do on Facebook or Linkedin, because Google’s reverse image search may allow a stalker to follow you from one site to another. But, as facial recognition technology becomes accessible and affordable…

This Week in Kink, October 21, 2017

Condoms are one of those things you probably don’t think about much until you need one. But of course as a defence against sexually transmitted diseases (and unwanted pregnancies), they only work if they fit right. Not to mention, if condoms are incorrectly sized or uncomfortable, people avoid using them. They’ve been big in the…

Clique Schisms

The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born Antonio Gramsci – Selections from the Prison Notebooks i’ve been clicking around recently looking for a sense of subcultural belonging. One of my favourite podcasts is nosafeword, and i stumbled across an episode called “Clique Schisms”. Sparky…

Fassinger’s Model: Mapping Our Journeys in Kink

This is a companion piece to our previous article The Cass Identity Model: Mapping Our Journeys in Kink In the same way that we looked at the Cass Sexual Identity Model, I’m going to attempt to re-situate Fassinger’s Model of Gay and Lesbian Identity Development in the context of BDSM subcultural identity formation. Fassinger’s Model…

The Cass Identity Model: Mapping Our Journeys in Kink

i grew up with the boom in technological advancement we call the Internet Era, so i am one of the so-called “lucky ones”. In my time, laptops and phones have become thin and the speed of the internet has grown fat, in something of an exponential graph. By the time i was 15 i had…