Quiz – Discover your Personal Erotic Myth

 A Personal Erotic Myth (PEM) contains the fantasy imagery, story-lines, dialogue, props, settings attire,  personas and actions, that drive a person that has a PEM to orgasm, or other deep erotic states. It is often expressed in fetish, kink and D/s-BDSM oriented sex. Some people are quite aware of their PEM. Some may have multiple PEM’s…

Is It True That Power Corrupts?

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Lord John Dalberg-Acton A question those of us in D/s relationships would be right to ask ourselves more often than others is: Does power corrupt? “Power corrupts” is a common enough saying, and usually it is pointing to behaviour that violates norms or values. In politics…

How to Dehumanise and Objectify the Dominant

So, my subby dating-app-using friend, is that torso pic and list of things you want done to you not getting the results you were hoping for? Clearly your bait is irresistible, so why aren’t the alpha fish biting? Let’s take a look at a few of the common reasons. YOU SAY YOU’RE A SUB BUT…

Finding a Path to Happiness in Kink

I bought a Kindle for my brother for Christmas and I’ve been collecting some ebooks up for him. He has a particular genre of book he likes to read. You might know what I mean if I mention authors like Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Rhonda Byrne and Stephen Covey. At the risk of grossly over-generalising,…

Zen and the Art of Dominance

In Zen Buddhism, there is the concept of ‘Nyo Ze’. It doesn’t translate well to English from the original Japanese, but a close match would be ‘like this, suchness.’ One great 13th Century Zen master – Dogen – said that in order to become a person of suchness, you have to first realize that you…

Spiritual Love (and Kink, and Other Mind Expanding Stuff)

It’s like two hearts, two minds, two bodies, two souls Making one whole, now it’s gotta be told That what we have is more than just physical Don’t be so cynical, we gotta spiritual love Feels so natural. More than physical. Spiritual love. Urban Species – Spiritual Love The Leather Lifestyle Group in Fetlife has…

From Stray to Collars, A Personal Journey

my first collar was granted to me by my Master, in small petshop in rural Malaysia. My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas with presents, and my first collar came to me on Christmas Day, which made it even more meaningful. Master, who was my Mentor at the time, gave me two taps on my right shoulder…

Where Did Old School BDSM Go?

I watched a video this morning of how a book was produced. The lead type being set, then pressed. The trimming and folding and binding, and how the leather cover was attached. The comment by the person who posted the video was “Your Kindle can’t do this”. And, of course, it can’t. But that doesn’t…

Memories and Time

“Memory is a funny thing. When I was in the scene I hardly paid it any attention. I never stopped to think of it as something that would make a lasting impression, certainly never imagined that 18 years later I would recall it in such detail.” “It takes time, though, for Naoko’s face to appear….