You’re An Alpha Sub? What Do You Mean By That?

If you ask someone to identify themselves by role, there are all kinds of hybrid combinations you might hear in reply. One that’s sure to cause confusion is the Alpha sub, because there are several different ways to use the term, and at least one is contentious in the community. SOCIAL HIERARCHY The term “Alpha…

Calling Yourself an Alpha Dom Just Makes You Look Bad

You might think you are the most Domly Dom to ever have Dommed, but here’s a news flash: you’re not. Sorry, but with so many “Alphas” inhabiting the kink scene, not everyone can sit at the top of the BDSM food chain. There are certainly a few valid ways to use the term “Alpha”. It’s…

Is it OK for Me to Call Myself “Master”?

So, you’ve got this title, “Master”. What are the origins? How did it come to be part of the BDSM language? “Master” might refer to: someone with a high level of skill in something (a Master Swordsman or Master Electrician, for example). To be recognised as this type of Master by your community you may…

If BDSM Makes You Anxious, Dance To The Music

I was listening to an interview on the radio this morning with two orchestra conductors. Answering a question about whether they felt anxious before going on stage, both admitted that they did and described it as being like a “cocktail party in the head”. At this cocktail party, everyone is out to judge you. You…

What Type of BDSM Top or Bottom Are You?

No matter how much some of us might protest that we “don’t want to be labeled or put in a box”, the roles we occupy in BDSM form an essential part of our negotiation. It is not simply about playing a part in a fantasy, though that can be an important element in the turn-on….

Quiz – What’s Your BDSM Role?

Are you a Master, Dom/me or Top? A slave, sub, bottom or pet? Here’s a quick 24 question quiz that gives you a percentage rating for roles. It’s just fun, but maybe it’ll get you questioning your self-image. TAKE THE BDSM SELECTOR TEST OTHER FUN BDSM QUIZZES • What is Your Safeword? • Understand the…