When the submissive or slave has PTSD or Panic Attacks

This is part 2 of a 2 part article on PTSD and panic attacks. Part 1: 2 Ways to Deal with PTSD and Panic Attacks Part 3: When the Dominant or Master has PTSD or Panic Attacks You might also like a previous article on this site, A Dom’s Guide to Panic Attacks and BDSM…

2 Ways to Deal with PTSD and Panic Attacks

This is part 1 of a 3 part article on PTSD and Panic Attacks. Part 2: When the submissive or slave has PTSD or Panic Attacks Part 3: When the Dominant or Master has PTSD or Panic Attacks We talked about the symptoms of PTSD in a previous article and Heather Daisy talks about how…

Decisions in Your D/s Relationship – Head vs Heart

Decisions, decisions. Every day we make thousands of them, from the small stuff like “coffee or tea?” to the big stuff like career, finance, health and relationships. There’s a fantasy that some subs and slaves who are just starting out have, that they will meet a wise, intelligent and caring Dom who will make all…

Turning Pain Into Pleasure

Pain is a huge part of BDSM. We seem to talk about it all the time. But, language being the blunt instrument that it is, do we really understand each other when we say things like “hit me” or “i love pain”? For some people, pain directly equates to “abuse” or “self harm”, and there…

The Complex Relationship Between BDSM and Mental Illness

The relationship between BDSM and mental health is complex, and can be confusing. Take, for example, depression. For those in the BDSM community who suffer from depression, is there any relationship? And if there is, was there an attraction to BDSM because of (diagnosed or undiagnosed) depression? Does the BDSM make it better or worse?…

Emotional Weather Report – Fine With A Chance of Brainfog

you walk into a supermarket, collect everything on your list and get back home, only to realise that you have registered almost nothing about the trip. you didn’t notice what was on sale or whether the person at the cash register was male or female. Or worse, you got to the supermarket and just stood…

The Scene and the Spotlight Effect

by MagnusGrey Understanding the Spotlight Effect has helped me become much less anxious in group settings. The core of the idea is simple. We, as human beings, tend to naturally care about how the people around us see us, including strangers and people we don’t know well. This desire to be liked and accepted by…

11 Tips for BDSM Negotiation with an Introvert

Introverts exhibit a very different set of social behaviours, and sometimes it’s hard for non-introverts to understand their different wiring. But please don’t be put off! When you bond with an introvert you invite someone into your life who likes quality rather than quantity, who will probably want to know you better (and deeper) than…

What To Do If Your Partner Gets Triggered

by Heather Daisy A trigger is an action, word, emotion, smell or other noun that causes a negative, often flashback-style feeling in a person. They are often the result of abuse, trauma, or highly negative emotionally-charged situation. Triggers can happen anywhere, and anytime, which is what makes them so terrifying. What you must remember about…

If BDSM Makes You Anxious, Dance To The Music

I was listening to an interview on the radio this morning with two orchestra conductors. Answering a question about whether they felt anxious before going on stage, both admitted that they did and described it as being like a “cocktail party in the head”. At this cocktail party, everyone is out to judge you. You…