I have been involved in a semi-open polyamorous BDSM relationship with two rather mature men for a few years now. Our dynamic is a version of an oldguard leather household protocol, in which i am an owned slaveboy to a kind Master who is partnered with His pup. We live separately, and in the past…
Category: Power Exchange (TPE/TAT)
Looking Deeper into Why BDSM May Benefit Our Mental Health
A significant piece of academic research, published in 2013 by Wismeijer and van Assen, suggests that individuals involved in BDSM subcultures or self-identified as “kinkster” may be prone to have better mental health than the average population. Psychologists and researchers from the Netherlands carried out a qualitative study with a total of 1300 questionaires sent…
Giving Your Partner Permission to be Dominant
There is a certain camp of people who will tell you that Dominance is an all-natural product (like organic milk), but I don’t believe that’s true. There might be certain underlying personality traits that make it easier or harder, but I think Dominance (as a role in D/s) is largely learned. There are some great…
The Feelz versus the Mind
“Being a slave is the hottest thing I have ever (ever!) experienced. And it definitely FEELS totally right to me.” “But, being a slave sometimes counters my inner beliefs…” The path down the transgressive route of Domination/submission or Master/slave isn’t a smooth rainbow ride. Many of us underwent quite immense amounts of self-doubt and reflection…
I’m a slave but not submissive
If you want to see sparks fly in an online forum, just mention how you are a slave, but not submissive. Not possible, you’ll hear from many. Do you submit to your Master? Of course you do, so you must be submissive. To talk about this I think we first have to separate out personality…
Is it Topping from the Bottom?
No-one is going to deny that Tops need feedback in a scene. This commonly includes the bottom communicating needs, discomfort and safety concerns. or communicating and processing their feelings in aftercare. At the same time, a basic working definition of topping from the bottom might be: “an attempt by the bottom to steer play or…
Financial Domination – Fetish or A Gold Digger Scam?
A lot of people find financial domination difficult to understand. Who, in their right mind, would allow someone to take control of their money? But, financial domination is not that unusual. Many subs (known in this fetish as pay pigs) are into it. And yes, they are in their right mind. It’s a blanket term…
You’re a Dominant, Not a Therapist
I think it’s time we had a few words about mentor-type Doms, but I don’t want to be too harsh. They really are the nice-guys of our communities, and as the saying goes, “it’s the thought that counts”. You’ll know the ones I mean. They believe their role as Dominant is to guide their submissive…
D/s Contracts – How to Create One That Works
by Anton Fulmen Written contracts between dominant and submissive partners, often referred to as “slave contracts,” have a long history in the practice of dominance. Some of us find the formality, structure and the sense of commitment and authority of a written contract to be highly appealing. Some contracts are works of erotic fiction: props…
How Does Power Exchange Work?
The truth is rarely pure and never simple. ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest In D/s relationships, it appears that all the power resides in the Dominant, and that the submissive is powerless. But this dance of power is not what it seems. It could be said that D/s relationships contains an inner…