Around this time last year, yangpup, boydenon and I pulled in to Hoi Ann in Vietnam. We’d been on an overnight train from Hanoi so we were a little crumpled, but ready for new adventures. The leather tailors in Hoi Ann are fantastic by the way, should you ever get there. It was our first…
Tag: BDSM relationships
Keeping the Passion in BDSM Relationships
What we do in BDSM is linked to desire. We can call it servitude, or dominance, or sadism or masochism, or sceneing or sessions, or any of the other many words we use, but ultimately it never fails to come down to desire. We do it because it fulfils this deep need in us, and…
Brats, SAMs and Break-mes
Brats are possibly something of a misunderstood species. They get a bad rap by many in the community who immediately associate the role with “petulant child”. But is that really what a brat is? We’d call a child a brat if they’re misbehaving, but most submissives who identify as brats see it as a role…
Decisions in Your D/s Relationship – Head vs Heart
Decisions, decisions. Every day we make thousands of them, from the small stuff like “coffee or tea?” to the big stuff like career, finance, health and relationships. There’s a fantasy that some subs and slaves who are just starting out have, that they will meet a wise, intelligent and caring Dom who will make all…
The Work of Ownership: When Fantasy Meets Reality
Come here. Kneel down. Do as you’re told. Three simple commands. At first glance, they seem almost too simple, too easy, and too basic to have any meaning. Where is the strict command? Where is the humiliation? Where is the slapping around, smashing his face into the carpet, and verbally abusing the piss out of…
The Three Types of Commitment
In BDSM relationships, we often speak of commitment. What we usually mean by that is that we will do things, in a sustained manner, to benefit the relationship. It is often a commitment to a person (or “people” if you’re poly), but it could also be to a larger collective entity, such as a household…
Chastity – Dealing with Intense Emotions and Difficult Communication
Most guys who take chastity beyond a couple of hours, or a couple of days, are no longer doing it just for fun. It becomes a tool for devotion, power exchange and emotional connectivity. It is about letting go of your ego and letting someone you submit to take charge of your body. Like a…
Book Review: Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook by Michael Makai
Available as ebook on Smashwords or paperback on Amazon There is a best selling 2007 M/s book that spends an entire chapter talking about how the author likes his submissives to arrange his dinner parties. Thankfully, this is absolutely nothing like that book. From the get-go, Michael Makai examines the question of whether Dominance &…
The Loneliness of the Long Distance Relationship submissive
i grew up in a small town and i started my BDSM journey through the Internet. i was a kid with a submissive nature that i didn’t know how to deal with, and the internet opened up a doorway for me to explore my sexuality as a slave/sub. After a few months of navigating through…