This is a companion piece to our previous article The Cass Identity Model: Mapping Our Journeys in Kink In the same way that we looked at the Cass Sexual Identity Model, I’m going to attempt to re-situate Fassinger’s Model of Gay and Lesbian Identity Development in the context of BDSM subcultural identity formation. Fassinger’s Model…
Tag: identity
The Cass Identity Model: Mapping Our Journeys in Kink
i grew up with the boom in technological advancement we call the Internet Era, so i am one of the so-called “lucky ones”. In my time, laptops and phones have become thin and the speed of the internet has grown fat, in something of an exponential graph. By the time i was 15 i had…
Not Top nor Bottom? Non-binary Sexuality is More Than Just Switching
On dating apps and websites it starts when you fill out your profile. Other times it’s the first point to nail in negotiation. And, for some of us it can be quite hard to answer. “Are you top or bottom?” One complicating (or complicated!) thing for me is that I come from a Southeast Asian…
The Mysterious Old Guard
I self-identify as a kinkster and, like many others, I have spent a long time reflecting on and questioning my own characteristics and personality, and the desire and longing for a life that (for me) is geographically nearly impossible to achieve. I live in Malaysia, where you don’t see anyone wearing collars or use any…
Memories and Time
“Memory is a funny thing. When I was in the scene I hardly paid it any attention. I never stopped to think of it as something that would make a lasting impression, certainly never imagined that 18 years later I would recall it in such detail.” “It takes time, though, for Naoko’s face to appear….
Rubber Play – The Sight, Smell and Sensuality of Latex
By B.A. Several years ago, I wrote an article on hoods, and how wearing one can alter your persona, can move a man from person to slave. While it wasn’t terribly exhaustive by any means, I had hoped that you would get a feel of hoods in general. Today, I’ve been asked to expand my…
Taking Out the Garbage
I read something interesting today that I wanted to share, because with all this radical self-reflection we all seem to do these days it resonated as kind of important. The short version is here, on Peter Rudd’s wonderful Coromandal blog. He excerpts from the much longer article Sons of The Beach on WorldHum, and his…
submissive versus slave in BDSM
In BDSM lingo, we often confuse different terminology due to a lack of resources. Thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey and all the fantasy we’re exposed to (whether that’s fiction, porn or pickup sites), terms like slave and submissive (or Dominant and Master) can be thrown around interchangeably. But sometimes words are supposed to have…
Are BDSM slaves Individuals, or Just Robots to Serve?
There is a general concept of BDSM slaves as someone who gives up their pride and identity, and focuses on their Master. The purpose of the slave, in this concept, is to serve. This is the type of slave referred to in the principles of Internal Enslavement. But actually, in the BDSM community, there is…
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and BDSM
“Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a severe condition in which two or more distinct identities, or personality states, are present in—and alternately take control of—an individual. The person also experiences memory loss that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. “ “DID reflects a failure to integrate various aspects of identity, memory and…