i grew up in a small town and i started my BDSM journey through the Internet. i was a kid with a submissive nature that i didn’t know how to deal with, and the internet opened up a doorway for me to explore my sexuality as a slave/sub. After a few months of navigating through BDSM pornography, i journied deeper into searching for possible relationships (LDR) in chatrooms, blogs and on sites like Recon and Xtube.
i started my first D/s online relationship with some playful Dom in the US, claiming himself to be a Master. i knew it wasn’t really what real D/s was about, but i wasn’t experienced enough to know what was right or wrong about it.
i started living my sexuality online, through that tiny little webcam, and it was mutually consensual and there were some moments of emotional intimacy. i gained support through online community, and it was certainly heart warming to realise i wasn’t alone in the world i was living in.
The type of LDR i had with overseas guys is temporal. i felt some possible commitment to them, but there was never any physical connection or even any plan for physical connection in the future. It was “pure virtual LDR”, and it was often hard to dive in and out from the mental connection.
Imagine you are connected to the other person online, but in physical real life you have no idea what is going on over on the other side, and vice versa. It’s like your soul is being sucked to another place while your feet are on the ground. That kind of “pure virtual LDR” may serve as a temporal support when you are in a hostile world, but the online comfort and online support doesn’t carry over very well into the real world.
i am now in a different kind of LDR. my Master lives about 5 hours by bus from me, so it’s one with real physical interaction. This year we’ve seen each other every couple of months, as we work out the logistics and the schedules of each other’s lives, but it will get more frequent as things get smoother. We’ve just celebrated the first anniversary of my collaring, and we’ll be taking our first overseas holiday together next month.
It’s not without challenges. We still struggle with what is going on over on the other side and sometimes, when my phone runs out of battery power, it feels to me like my Master disappears from the world. It is especially difficult to interact without physical presence. i crave to physically kiss my Master’s feet to show my devotion, and instead i have to type “kissfeet” and leave it to the imagination of both sides. Sometimes, i physically kneel on the floor, hoping that the energy travels the few hundred kilometers that separates us. Sometimes, when i am feeling down, i can’t physically feel the warmth of the hug from Him. Sometimes, when Master gives an order, i misinterpret the tone and treat it as not being serious, because I can’t see His face or feel His energy. There are times when i am emotionally troubled, for all the days that i could not be with Sir and alpha, and i feel lonely.
Does it work? i don’t mean to paint it so badly. It certainly works, but it needs a lot of extra effort, a critical and creative mind, strong faith and firm love.
Many people choose LDR because LDR is the last resort and the only choice they have. For me personally, i’ve found the right Master and i’m devoted. There isn’t any energy bigger than love, and there isn’t anything in this universe that could stop me from taking this journey.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS?
Do you find the emotional costs of a LDR heavy? And do the benefits outweigh that?
• Submissive Guide – Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship
• On A Magic Carpet Ride – Long Distance Relationships
• Leather N Roses – BDSM Long Distance Relationships
• FetLife – Long Distance Littles
• FetLife – 24/7 Long distance & Online relationships