We get a lot of queries about humiliation & degradation, specifically about practical ideas for things to do. Not every activity is suitable for every person, but here’s 90 fun ones.
I didn’t write these, they’ve been passed around on the internet for a while, and before we get into the fun bit I wanted to add four quick pieces of advice:
• Consent. Your kinks are private, the public doesn’t consent to participate in them. Freaking out the villagers or traumatising children is not cool. A lot of these suggestions are public displays, so you’ll need to use your common sense regarding when and whether they are appropriate.
• Humiliation is much more than just putting someone in an embarrassing situation. When it’s done right it’s a hot scene for both parties. I strongly recommend Richard Sprott’s excellent talk Humiliation: Hot, Edgy and Sometimes Dangerous for a deeper insight into what humiliation is and how you can play with it. Really, it’s a great video.
• Humiliation and degradation are edge play. Sometimes you can detonate land mines that no one knew were there. Keep an eye on your submissive and be very sure that he/she is not being psychologically triggered by the activities.
• Check out our article Erotic Humiliation and Degradation for some general discussion about humiliation and degradation and more ideas.
Now that that’s out of the way, see if there’s anything here that adds spice to your life:
Clothing the sub can be made to wear:
1. Black or dark colour bra under thin white shirt.
2. Black or dark colour panties under thin white trousers or shorts.
3. Tights worn with shorts.
4. Wear a frilly bikini at the beach. [or just the bottom].
5. Naked or dressed in lingerie beneath a cape or raincoat.
6. Wearing an obviously feminine blouse.
7. Little girls’ dresses with high heels
8. Baby hats/bonnets.
9. Wearing your dirty underwear to work with everyday male clothing.
10. Standard male shirt, tie, jacket, with obvious female trousers.
11. Diapers, noisy plastic pants.
12. High heels.
13. No underwear, while wearing very thin white or light colour trousers, shorts.
1. Slave collar (can add owner tag.)
2. Narrow cat collar with bell.
3. Single handcuff on each wrist.
4. Butt plugs, Can be worn at a business meetings.
5. Feminine necklaces and bracelets.
6. Feminine rings.
7. Cock rings.
8. Nipple clips. [Even better when seen through a sheer shirt]
9. Clip on earrings [for the pierced impaired.]
12. A “kitty” collar with bell, worn around the cock and balls.
[The assumption here is that it should be obvious the purchases are for the sub]
1. Shopping for and trying on lingerie or dresses.
2. Trying on high heels while wearing nylons or pantyhose under male clothing.
3. Shopping for makeup, perfumes, and other female items.
4. At adult toy stores, purchasing butt plugs, cockrings, and BD gear, while she watches from a distance.
5. Having a manicure or facial.
6. Buying adult incontinent supplies.
Other activities or scenes:
1. Must use “Mistress”, Madame”, or “Ma’am” at all times.
2. Handcuffed to the shopping cart, while shopping.
3. Handcuffed or tied to a pole outside shops. (Waiting for Mistress)
4. Handcuffed, hands in front or back, while shopping.
5. Metal cock rings, collars, chains, or leashes when going through airport security.
6. Having him get a good tan while wearing a bra, for later exposure at the beach or while washing the car without a shirt.
7. When at a restaurant, eating in an unusual way; being fed by the Mistress; using your non dominant hand, no utensils.
8. Forbidden to speak in public.
9. Kneeling and kissing her boots, shoes, feet, or hands, at odd moments.
10. Kneeling, massaging her feet at the cafe.
11. One arm tied or cuffed under your shirt, or cuffed obviously behind you.
12. Pockets cut out of pants, and hands tied or cuffed to your thighs so you can’t remove them from
13. Binding your cock inside your pants with the string or rope end available to tug on.
14. Wearing a vibrating butt plug, with the controls in your pocket.
15. Your right [left?] hand is tied to your cock and balls through a hole in your pocket. Might look like you are playing with yourself.
16. Being forced to masturbate beneath the table cloth while at a restaurant.
17. You both are sitting in a restaurant, dressed completely normal. She hands you a bag of ‘stuff’ and tells you to go to the restroom and change. You worry that everyone who enters will know what you are doing.
18. You are sitting drinking a beer or apple juice. When the glass is empty, she orders you to take it to the men’s room and fill it up. You must return and then consume your “new” beverage with your meal.
19. You must take your beverage to the men’s room, masturbate, and cum in the glass/cup. Return and then consume it.
20. You have to take your underpants off, return to the table and hand them to her. She leaves them on the table in plain view.
21. On a special evening, as you travel around in a rented limousine, you are required to masturbate, trying not to be seen by the driver.
22. You are required to masturbate in your pants and continue wearing them, disregarding any spots that may appear.
23. You are diapered, taken out to a restaurant or bar and have to consume a large quantity of liquid, and are not allowed to use the bathroom.
24. Travelling by car naked or dressed in lingerie.
25. You are obviously hand cuffed to the car as you travel, or are parked waiting for her to finish shopping. A key can be attached to a thread for emergency purposes.
26. Wearing lipstick or make up so that it appears you have just tried to remove it, but missed some.
27. Having your picture taken in Santa’s lap at Christmas time.
28. She hands the controls of your vibrating plug, dildo to another person.
29. Having to show another person what you are wearing beneath the raincoat or cape.
30. Shining her boots at the cafe.
31. She spanks you.
32. She slaps you.
33. You have to kiss the ground whenever you leave a car.
34. You kiss the seat of her chair whenever she stands.
35. Ordering warm milk, or some other almost impossible item, claiming dietary need.
36. You have to eat a bite of something that has had an ash flicked on it.
37. You are taken on a nature walk, tied to a tree, for a quickie spanking.
38. One hand is cuffed to the chair or table when you are eating.
39. At a cocktail lounge, you have to sit at the bar next to the serving station and you are cuffed to the rail.
40. You are instructed to eat a meal alone, reading a copy of Domination Directory International, other Dominatrix publication, or a transvestite magazine.
41. Smoking long, obviously feminine cigarettes.
42. In a parking lot or similar location, just before you will be safely hidden from spectators, she has you pause and wet yourself. You have to walk the last few yards with wet clothes.
43. On your ‘x’ anniversary, you renew your wedding vows, this time you are dressed as the bride.
44. When you travel alone, you are required to leave lingerie or stockings drying in the bathroom.
45. You are instructed to buy a Halloween maid’s costume. Whenever you travel you must leave it hanging in the hotel room along with your regular clothing. Leaving a pair of high heels out would work too.
46. Tape rough felt or very fine sandpaper inside a shirt over the nipples. Effect should be stimulation, not damage.
47. Reciting all your rules in front of others, at her whim.
48. Temporary “slave” tattoos or other markings, hidden or not.
49. Always walking a foot or two behind her. Speeding up to open doors.
50. She pays for everything, with possible comments like “Oh I never allow him to carry money!”
51. If no seats are available, puts you on all fours and sits on your back.
52. Doing some of the “hidden” little things like plugs, nipple clamps, cock rings, in the church of her/your choice.
53. Keeping your legs shaved.
54. Keeping the genitals shaved.
55. Having ribbons/bows braided into the genital hair.
56. Carrying a doll around, brushing its hair, playing with it.
57. When dining out, sub is not allowed to order, is fed little bites from her plate.
58. While she is sitting on a chair, you sit on deck beside her, even though there are chairs available next to you.
59. Wear a cock ring with a very long, strong, almost invisible thread attached. She can pull on this anytime. Use it like a leash.