A lot of people find financial domination difficult to understand. Who, in their right mind, would allow someone to take control of their money?
But, financial domination is not that unusual. Many subs (known in this fetish as pay pigs) are into it. And yes, they are in their right mind.
It’s a blanket term used to describe anyone who has a fetish that involves the taking of money from one party by the other, with little to no sexual reward in return. This does not mean that there is no reward for either party, just that the reward is potentially more psychological than physical. If you ask a sub who is into financial domination if he ‘gets’ anything from the dynamic he will respond with a resounding and confident “Yes!”. His reward is not sexual, however. But, there is indeed something there for him, that makes him feel satisfied with the relationship. That brings him happiness, security, risk or whatever it is he is looking for. For some, money is a way to define oneself, and the risk of losing it is a thrill and a reward. Perhaps it’s the same thrill that drives gamblers to gamble or adrenaline junkies to jump from planes or surf giant waves.
In its purest form, financial domination means the money is just handed over out of an intense need of the sub to give without expecting something in return. For the submissive, the idea of having a Lady take money from him (I’ll use female Dom, male sub in this article because that’s how the gender balance usually is), or getting him into a state of wanting to give money to her, is incredibly erotic. In some cases the submissive male even dreams of complete financial ruination through coercion or blackmail.
Imagine male orgasm tease and denial, except the cock is a wallet / bank account and its contents. It’s a specific fetish for people wired specifically around the power of money, self-worth, and financial power and control.
Money is a powerful mood changer. Just because people don’t get financial domination doesn’t mean it’s not real, or it’s a less legitimate fetish. People are just really squicky about money. Actually, that’s why findom IS such a real thing. The humiliation and degradation surrounding allowing money to be worked hard for, then given up control of to anonymous bossy women… it’s one of the more edgy, often humiliation-based kinks there are, and quite scary because it means dealing with people’s livelihoods.
Yes, findom can be quite extreme, but it’s not so out-there that there are not milder versions of it in many Dominant/submissive relationships. Although it’s probably not as common today as it was 20 years ago, it’s fairly common in D/s relationships for the Dom to be responsible for the finances and the money (for example the wage) of the sub to be directly transferred to an account of the Dom.
IS FINANCIAL DOMINATION ETHICAL?
It’s important to distinguish between a scam, such as when a Domme feigns romantic interest and then manipulates her sub out of money, and Findom, where it is a mutually consensual exchange with no trickery. In this second scenario, it is clear and upfront that it is a form of objectification. It is clear that the sub will not get anything in return from the Domme. If the sub is promised a return beforehand and the return is not given at all or additional money must be handed-over on to receive the return, than it is scamming.
Whether it is ethically ok to ruin another person is something that must be decided by the individuals involved. It’s certainly an extreme form of play, and I’d personally find it morally questionable unless it was crystal clear that it was the sub’s kink, and not just horniness talking.
There is also the risk that Financial Domination will impact uninvolved third parties (for example the children/marriage partner), and this is really not OK in the same way that an addiction (to drugs, alcohol, gambling etc) that did this would not be OK.
And, of course any methods in which the sub is intoxicated (such as with alcohol or drugs) beforehand is troubled ground. Informed consent is not possible while intoxicated.
WHEN A FINDOMME IS NOT A FINDOMME
You’ll come across a lot of would-be/could-be/wannabe FinDommes on the internet. In nearly all cases, they probably aren’t. It’s really only a low percentage of the Ladies who label themselves FinDomme who are really able to create an internal longing of the sub to give them money. These ladies don’t need to wear sexy underwear or fetish clothes at all. Most you will come across will follow the route of wearing sexy clothing and lounging around like a pole dancer in front of the camera, hoping to stimulate the horniness (and open the wallet) of the sub. These ladies or not demanding money they are begging for it.
If financial domination is a scam, it’s the only one where someone says, “would you like to be scammed” and the other person says, “oh, yes please”.
But, it is a kink that attracts a lot of scammers, so be careful out there.
• VICE – This is How You Dominate Men With Money
• VICE – Financial Domination Is a Very Expensive Fetish
• Financial Domination Guide
• Observer – Yes, There Is Such a Thing as a ‘Financial Dominatrix’, and It’s as Bizarre as You Think
• VICE (YouTube) – Cash Slaves: Inside the Dystopian Fetish of Financial Domination
• The Cut – Buy It for Me: My Life as a Financial Dominatrix
• Salon – “Do it again or I’m gonna call your wife”: Inside the World of Financial Domination
• The Daily Dot – Inside the Twisted World of the Internet’s Priciest Fetish