A significant piece of academic research, published in 2013 by Wismeijer and van Assen, suggests that individuals involved in BDSM subcultures or self-identified as “kinkster” may be prone to have better mental health than the average population.
Psychologists and researchers from the Netherlands carried out a qualitative study with a total of 1300 questionaires sent out to people who self identified. The results of the study suggest that kinksters are not mentally ill, and further, they scored higher in some mental well-being criteria — as less neurotic, more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, and less rejection sensitive — thus getting an overall higher score in terms of subjective well-being. You can access the study here.
We looked at this study, along other research on BDSM and mental health, in a previous article Do People Get Involved in BDSM Because They’re Broken?
It is an interesting debunk to the underlying theories that have caused societal stigma in the past, demystifying the notion that “kinksters become involved in sadomasochistic acts because of their past-trauma, because they are sociopaths/psychopaths or because they are mentally somewhat broken”
WRITING AND HEALING
Recently, i have come across some videos and articles suggesting that our psychological well-being can be improved by distancing our self and simply writing about our past. The theory is that this process can help us better grasp the full breadth and width of the understanding of our selves and identities, that are both connected yet disjointed from the present and the past. In simpler terms, our identities are developed through time, depending on our social upbringing and the different institutions that we have been situated within — school, family, country, culture, etc.
When our past negative experiences do not fully resolve and have some form of closure, it permeates into the present and leeches underneath the subconscious. We may behave in certain ways and be unreasonably troubled by some circumstances in the present, but perhaps the reason we experience such irrational response is greatly wired to our unresolved past.
Some psychologists suggest that simply writing about our emotions, allows us to be a writer of our selves and identities, and the instant shift from being the subject to the writer gives a moment of distance. That distance allows us to unplug from the down-spiraling negativity that can often seem endless.
Further, anxiety usually derives from the un-mastered or un-controlled moments of our life. This may trigger an outcry from the mind later in our timeline… as if it is screaming: HELP, HELP, THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL!
Following the logic, if we can find some way to master the control of these moments, anxiety falls away and calmness arises. In that regard, distancing our self from the moment and starting to investigate the mechanism of the mind, and cultivating a sense of control over our emotional responses, would be empowering and lead to better mental health.
WHY THIS MIGHT RELATE TO BETTER WELL-BEING BEING DISCOVERED AMONGST KINKSTERS
Perhaps one of the reasons that kinksters have been discovered in research to tend towards better mental health than the general population is that one of the anchoring aspects of BDSM culture is power exchange, regardless of whether the dynamic is Master/slave, Dom/sub, Spanker/spankee, prisoner/captor, kidnapper/victim, Teacher/schoolboy or Daddy/baby. They all involve some form of power exchange. Not simply power exchange, but a kind of power play that violates and flips the societal normativity of power dynamics.
Perhaps that shift of power, so strong in creating a moment of distancing, allows us to look and investigate our position, and relationship with our past and present. It could be that this gives us a tool for shedding light onto the subconscious, and foggy circumstances. In fact, many Master and slave relationships begin with intensive writing, including various slave documents and contracts, which allow relocation of the self, resituating it in a completely different social reality through BDSM activities.
Perhaps, kinksters who manage to utilise the moment of distance to reflect on the not-yet-fully emancipated complex past and emotions, and possibly reconcile with it, are drawing on an annectode to present turmoils that is unique to us in the BDSM community.
FURTHER READING
• Deviance & Desire – Submissive Journals as a Tool for Developing BDSM Relationships
• Pysch Central – The Power of Writing: 3 Types of Therapeutic Writing
• Psychology Today – Writing as Therapy
• The Guardian – As Easy as ABC
• American Psychology Association – Writing to Heal
• Deviance & Desire – Owner’s Manual